


Confession

by dannyvhs (PepsiRabbit)



Category: Saw (Movies)
Genre: Adam Faulkner-Stanheight Lives, Apprentice Adam, Supportive John, Trans Male Character, Trans character written by trans author, improper binding, trans adam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-15
Updated: 2020-11-15
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:01:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27571960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PepsiRabbit/pseuds/dannyvhs
Summary: When helping set up a trap, Adam ends up having chest pain and tries to hide it from John. However,  John notices everything.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 19





	Confession

**Author's Note:**

> I decided we needed more trans Adam on this site so im here to make content. Also a little new to writing John, so hopefully I got him down.

“Fuck-” Adam hissed as he reached up to tighten the gear on the trap John was setting up. His chest was aching horribly, but he didn’t have the time to stop and fix it now. There was work to be done before Adam could go home. Unfortunately, his curse didn’t go unheard. John sat in his wheelchair watching Adam work instructing him on which steps to take to perfect the trap and he had heard the curse.

“Is everything alright, Adam?” John asked. His quiet raspy voice always sent chills of fear down Adam’s spine, even if they were now allied together. Adam went back down from his tip toes and chuckled a bit nervously.

“Yeah, everything’s fine. Just uh, a little tough to screw in.” Adam hit the palm of his hand with the wrench a few times hoping that John would let it go, but this was John Kramer after all. He never let things go. 

“Do you think I’m an idiot, Adam?” John asked, tilting his head to the side slightly. Adam’s blood ran cold. Oh fuck. Adam stuttered a bit in his reply, unable to hold back the blinding fear.

“Wh-What? No! No, you’re not! I mean, I don’t think that, sir. It’s nothing, really-”

“You’ve been wincing in pain for the past five minutes. Is this too great of a task for you, Adam? Or are you going to continue to lie to me?” John asked. Adam sighed. Well, there goes trying to hide that.

“Okay, fine.” Adam said defeated. “I..I..” 

He mumbled the ending of his sentence. John shifted in his wheelchair.

“You must have me confused with a younger person, Adam. I cannot hear your mumbling. Speak up.”

“I bind my chest, alright!?” Adam snapped suddenly. He shouldn’t have snapped at John, but what was done was done. 

“For what?” John asked simply.

“I’m..I’m trans.”

Adam swallowed ready for the punishment. He was ready for the horrible comments about how he wasn’t appreciating what he had, about how he was no better than those they tested, about how he was a disgrace to the name of Jigsaw. He had been given a second chance at a new life and this was the moment it was all going to end. 

“Go take a break.” John said calmly.

“Wait, what?” Adam asked confused.

“I said go take a break. If you’re in pain, then your past how long you should be binding for. I can have Amanda finish this up while you go take that off for a bit,” John said. 

“Oh, I uh, I don’t have any more bandages on me to replace it. I’ll just take it off at home when I’m done,” Adam said. Thank God John didn’t get angry. John usually seemed to be more of an open minded person, but the topic of transgender issues was still very new and different to people and Adam never knew how someone was going to react to the idea of it. 

“Bandages? Adam, are you using bandages?” John asked. Adam nodded and lifted up his tee shirt to show the ace bandages wrapped around his chest. He didn't know why he felt like he had to prove that fact to John. He really didn’t have to. Maybe it was the way John’s eyes were examining him, taking in the situation as if he didn’t believe the words coming out of the young man’s mouth. 

“Have you learned nothing?” John asked, disappointment in his voice. “You were given a second chance to appreciate your life, Adam. You should be treating yourself better than this.”

“Well excuse me for being upset with shit I was born with and can’t fucking control,” Adam said. “Call me spoiled or ungrateful or whatever you want, John, but who I was born as is not who I am and I refuse to just be that because some fucknut says I have to be.” 

“Adam,”

“No, you listen to me, John! I am grateful for my life, but I am not grateful for the fucking depression and self hatred I get looking at myself. Throw my head in a trap or cut my leg off if that makes you think I’ll learn some lesson, but even if you did, I’m still me. I’m Adam and no one else and not even death can take that from me!”

Adam’s voice was rising in defensive anger as he let it all pour out on John. Years of pent up emotions were flooding out of him and onto his mentor. He didn’t care what happened now. He had been fighting for too long for the man known as Adam and trying to give him his voice to stop now. The old version of himself had long died, happily stepping away to make room for Adam’s life. 

Adam panted from his anger as John stared at him, his face unchanging. It still looked cold and had the look of fascination that John always carried when studying another human being. He then shifted his weight to one side and reached into his pocket taking out what looked like a wallet.

“I have no doubt that the man before me is none other than Adam Faulkner-Stanheight. I do not forget faces and names. What I have a problem with is that you would keep this from me and go as far as lying about being in physical pain. I understand pain, Adam. I may not understand the exact pain you feel, but I understand the rage that you carry deep inside you. I saw it from the very beginning and now I understand what has created that fire in you.”

John opened his wallet and reached inside. He took out a bill and held it out. Adam looked to his hand and back a few times before John shook the bill. Adam moved closer and took it. He looked down.

“Holy shit. John, this is fifty bucks.”

“I want you to take that.’

“Wh-Why? Am I getting more supplies?”

“Sometimes, problems cannot be solved simply by tests of will. Sometimes they must be solved in other ways.”

It took a moment before Adam’s brain registered what was happening. His mouth hung open in shock and John chuckled some. 

“If I catch you wearing those bandages again, there will be severe consequences. Now go,” John said. 

“What about setting up the test?” Adam asked.

“I’ll have Amanda finish it. She’s been itching to do something anyways.” John said with a wave of his hand. Adam smiled, then began to laugh in disbelief. 

“Fuck, thank you! I can’t believe this,” 

“Consider it an apology for the mess up in the bathroom.”

Adam quickly pocketed the money. He went behind John’s wheelchair and turned him to help wheel him back to the main room where Amanda was. He was beaming the entire time. When he left, there was a pep in his step for the first time ever. 


End file.
